i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
