Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
