Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
