We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
