Don't you send me to vm
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize