he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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