Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
