Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
