Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i think my cat just said my name.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
