Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
