I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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