Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Randomize
