just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
