Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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