I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
