also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He better not be in your backpack
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
