Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
