Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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