I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
