we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
