I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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