I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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