So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
