dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
