The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
