I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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