and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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