this beer tastes like vomit already
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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