its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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