What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
