JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
