Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We left the knife in your bed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
