even my farts smell like vagina
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Never underestimate the power of titties
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
