you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
