Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
