I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
