billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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