I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
