So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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