i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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