i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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