you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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