Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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