I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
even my farts smell like vagina
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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