i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Your cock deserves a montage
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
