he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
