Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
