we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
