is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
