Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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