I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
