Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
