The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
