I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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