he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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