Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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