So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
