Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
