Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
