I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
